Letter to Flight Crew

Dear Virgin Atlantic cabin crew,

First let me compliment you on your lovely red uniform. You remind me of my days as a cabin attendant and how I wore my uniform with as much, if not more, pride. Those were good days!

I know it’s not the usual practice for passengers to write you letters. You expect a lot of things but a letter-writing passenger isn’t one of them. You expect that on every flight, you will have certain types of passengers including;

• Difficult Darren – As he trundles down the jet bridge laden down with several pieces of ‘hand luggage’, you heave a sigh. You know that DD is going to refuse to check in any of those bags even when you ask him politely and will insist you find room for them in the overhead compartments. You know this is just the first of much aggravation he will cause you and you  wish it was standard policy to drug DD‘s and his ilk’s welcome-on-board drinks with Valium. Sigh!

• Aisle Be Damned Alfred – ABDA loves aisle seats. He doesn’t seem to understand that the aisle is for public access as he spills over and out of his seat and stretches out his leg, tripping you up every time you walk down. He never apologises but instead glares at you for daring to invade what he considers his personal space. You pointedly ignore him, making sure to step over the offending appendage but you soon get your revenge when you push the trolley right into it. You put on an appropriate apologetic look while inquiring if he is alright, meanwhile you are tearing up with laughter on the inside. Serves him right!

• Whining Winifred – WW complains loudly about everything, the long check-in queues, the security checks, duty-free prices, her allocated seat, crying babies, the food and the list goes on. Nothing is good enough for her. She always has a notebook and pen handy to write down your name and spends hours everyday writing letters of complaint to airline management.  Unfortunately for her, there’s been a change of policy in doling out free tickets as compensation. She is not a happy camper. Tough!

• Frequent Flyer Fredrick – You see FFF every few weeks. He’s pretty easy-going and you are on first-name basis with each other. When there’s a lull in your duties, he usually comes up to the galley and regales the crew with tales of his many travels. You make sure you upgrade him every chance you get. Nice guy!

• Show-off Susan – SoS usually flies Premium Economy but you would think it was First Class the way she carries on. She talks down to you as though you are subservient to her. She never says ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. She demands to be upgraded to Business or First Class every time as though it is her right, and insists on using their toilets as well. If she doesn’t get upgraded, then it has to be a bulkhead seat.  You happily oblige as you know that all the other seats on that row will be occupied by families with babies and young children. You send up a prayer of thanksgiving when the babies cry throughout the 10-hour flight. There is a God after all!

I bet you’re wondering why this passenger felt the need to write you a letter so I won’t waste any more of your time, I know you’re busy dealing with all of the passengers I mentioned above.

Well, you see, I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a long time. In the run up to now, I’ve been busy doing stuff, the stuff working mums do and I’m exhausted.  I really need to sleep. So I just wanted to ask that you please not wake me for any reason.   

Don’t worry about my safety, I will have my seat belt firmly in place under my blanket. Don’t worry about my food, I will have breakfast when I arrive. Don’t worry about any emergencies, I will wake up and take necessary action including shouting ‘the blood of Jesus’ loudly.

I know this is a rather unusual request but please humour me. Think of the benefits of granting my request;

One less passenger to serve.

One less tray to clear.

One less obstacle to meander around in the narrow aisle.

In effect, less work for you. And that’s always a welcome relief for cabin crew on a transatlantic flight.

I look forward to seeing you on boarding and again, on landing. Here’s to a smooth flight and hoping you get  the most compliant passengers you could ever have.

Yours sincerely,

The Wordsmythe

PS.  I thought you should know that I wouldn’t, at all, be averse to the idea of being upgraded. Not that I would ask though, far be it from me to do so! You already have your hands full and I would be the last person to want to burden you further.

 

To all mothers

It’s Mothers’ Day in North America, however I’d like to celebrate and serenade mothers everywhere with these timeless classics.

God bless all mothers.

Happy Mothers’ Day. Enjoy!

 

 

Videos courtesy of Youtube.

 

The fine art of disagreeing agreeably

Marriage has taught me a lot of things, some of which are, to choose my battles wisely, learn to compromise, be slow to jump to conclusions, understand timing, to mention just a few.  However the one I wish to talk about now is the fine art of disagreeing agreeably.

I call it a ‘fine art’ because it requires great skill and highly developed techniques which are, sadly, rather lacking in a lot of relationships today.

It is wishful thinking to believe that you can go through life without disagreements. People are as different and as unique as snowflakes which means we will not always be on the same page at the same time, if ever.

In our day-to-day dealings with other human beings, potential for conflict and disagreement is rife. With the advancements in technology, a huge proportion of our interactions and relationships are conducted electronically. Without the benefit of body language, facial expressions or hand gestures, there is even more room for misinterpretation and misunderstanding. I’m appalled when I read some of the slinging match threads on social media sites that pass for comments.

Trying to avoid disagreements is wisdom but totally shying away from it, is folly and an exercise in futility. Since it is inevitable, it behoves us to learn how to do it without destroying our relationships, and I’m not just talking about marriage.

Is it possible to disagree with another person’s point of view without provoking them or being provoked yourself? Most of the time, when we find ourselves in a situation where we disagree with something someone says or does, it almost always invariably leads to each party adopting a polarised “I am right, you are wrong”stance. We then get defensive and in trying to maintain our ‘rightness’, sometimes abandon the real issue and resort to trading insults.

The fact that you disagree with someone or vice versa doesn’t automatically make them a bad person. They simply have a different opinion to yours. Sometimes there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong opinion; it is just a different opinion. It is not always essential that either of you adopt the other’s opinion but it is usually helpful if you both acknowledge them without coming to blows.

Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful when I find myself in this position;

• Don’t take it personally. Don’t make it about you or about the other person, keep it about the issue.
• Choose your battles. Not every single thing is worth arguing about. Be the bigger man/woman, bite your tongue and keep your mouth shut. No one but a mad person likes to argue with themself. If your ‘opponent’ (and I use the word rather loosely) notices it’s not such a big deal to you, they will probably drop it and move on to something else.
• It’s ok to be ‘wrong’ sometimes. Have an open mind, you may actually be wrong. Don’t get so hooked up on proving that you are right to the detriment of the relationship.
• Be respectful and considerate. Don’t dismiss other people’s ideas or opinions simply because they differ from yours.
• Forget about winning or losing. You may win the battle but end up losing the war if you make every argument about winning and losing. Whereas you both can come out winners if you work to understand each other’s point of view.
• Be willing to apologise. In heated moments, you may say some hurtful things while trying to drive home your point. Don’t be too proud to admit it and say you’re sorry.

Have you got any tips for dealing with conflicts and disagreements? Please share them.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

Chika Unigwe’s On Black Sisters’ Street | Daily Times Nigeria

My review in Daily Times Nigeria

Chika Unigwe’s On Black Sisters’ Street | Daily Times Nigeria.

 

A Sista’s Poem and a Brother’s Response

I found this in my email archives. It made the rounds about 10 or so years ago. I have no idea who wrote it originally but thumbs up to you, whoever you are.

Enjoy!

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you
need to see? Will you be able to understand, that
I’m a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin’?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly?
Not constantly trippin??
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations
behind? Can you come to me with your problems and
not wait until it’s too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I
would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and
admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to
me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my
lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds &
Gold? Can you make me feel like I’m the last
woman you’ll ever hold?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a good man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know,

DO YOU QUALIFY?
************************************************

The Brother’s Response:

You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfil your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you’ve asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen
one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
Or will you fight with me instead?

If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance
neglected, and checked with some serious noise?

When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it’s convenient for you?

Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of the all
the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?

If I don’t send you flowers the day your co-worker
received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?
Will you be patient and teach me to understand you,
and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby
what’s wrong?
Or will you respond with, “Well a REAL man would know!”

When we first met, what was it that caught your
eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love
what I drive, instead of what’s driving me?

Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I’m tired, will you trust
I’m sincere or believe that there must be another one?
My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours. No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.

In life’s tough times I’ll hold you, in the rough times I’ll mold you;
your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, in your place, I’ll stand.
A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify.

Now, more importantly…do you?

Thanks for stopping by.

 

Trapped

I’m trapped

Within traditional walls,

Confines of mediocrity

Stifled by complacency

And narrow-minded expectations.

I’m trying,

Desperately,

To throw off the shackles,

Claw my way out

And blaze my own path in life.

I’m seeking

To release my oppressed individuality

Throw off my inhibitions

And birth the greatness

Which lies deep inside.

I’m looking

Hard into myself

To find the boldness

That gives free rein

To creativity.

I’m trusting

God for a breakthrough

Eagerly awaiting illumination

And inspiration

To be and do all that I was created to.

 

Random ramblings

Forgive me if this post seems rather disjointed, I’m in a funny place. Please permit me to ramble.

Last Thursday would have been my friend’s, Femi’s, 42nd birthday. She died on the 24th of November 2010, a few months after she’d turned 40. She was on Facebook. Facebook doesn’t know she’s dead. An automatic notification was generated reminding all her Facebook friends that it was her birthday. Sigh! I miss her. Terribly. But I didn’t write on her wall. It’s not like she’d read it and reply anyway.

We’re having a grey and windy day here. The clouds are pregnant with rain drops and will birth them any minute. I once read somewhere that when it rains, it means God is crying. I don’t know about that but I do envy those clouds. I bet they’ll feel much lighter once they shed the heavy load of all that rain.

I haven’t been to the gym in a while.My right knee suddenly started to swell and hurt a little. I ignored it and carried on working out. But the voice of reason finally got through to me and I went to see a doctor. He prescribed some anti-inflammatory medicine and asked me to stop all load-bearing exercise until the swelling goes down. Five weeks later, it’s still swollen! I’m suffering from a deficiency of exercise-generated endorphins.

I haven’t done much creative writing this year. And it’s not for want of trying. It’s not writer’s block or anything like that. I just feel like I’m in limbo and until I find some direction, I won’t be able to move forward. I’m trying to edit the manuscripts I’ve completed already and hope that once I start pitching those to publishers, I’ll be able to write some more.

In more uplifting news, Acer Aspire has been replaced, thanks to Mo Cushla. Her replacement and I have since been getting acquainted. Acer Aspire lives on via her hard drive which was rescued. I have to think of a fitting name for AA’s successor, I can’t exactly call her AA too. Any suggestions?

When I feel out of sorts, I listen to music. All kinds. Music has a way of lifting up my spirit. So while trying to make sense of my befuddled soul and muddled brain cells, I’ve been listening to some.

This one, called ‘Mighty to save’, by Laura Story was sent to me by a friend a week or so ago and I’ve been playing it over and over again. Beautiful lyrics! Thank you, you know who you are

This next one is ‘Arms of love’ by Amy Grant. It takes me back to my early days as a new Christian and my university days way back in …Ah! but that would be telling now! It’s quite old and the quality isn’t great. It reminds me of God’s unconditional and unfailing love for me especially when I’m most undeserving.

This last one is called ‘That Stupid song’. I love it simply because it is that…a stupid yet lovely song.

I hope you enjoy all the songs.

I’m feeling much better than when I started this post.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

Obituary of a well-loved laptop

Acer Aspire of Hertfordshire, United Kingdom died on Saturday the 14th of April 2012 in her home after a fall which resulted in a short-circuit of her motherboard.

Her exact date of birth is uncertain as she was mass-produced in a factory in Taiwan but she was purchased and became a member of The Wordsmythe’s family in August 2009. She was bought as an early birthday present by Mo Cushla to replace The Wordsmythe’s previous laptop which had also died. However, the ‘dead’ laptop mysteriously came back to life shortly after the purchase of Acer Aspire in what can only be described as ‘The curious resurrection of a dead laptop’ but I digress.

 

Acer Aspire was an excellent laptop and served her mistress well. It was on her that The Wordsmythe churned out her not-so-regular blog posts as well as her other writing which include two completed fiction manuscripts and countless poems, some short stories and one unfinished manuscript.

She accompanied The Wordsmythe on various trips around the world and worked relentlessly until her death.

She is survived by her distraught owner, The Wordsmythe. Acer Aspire was a registered organ donor so her hard drive will be donated to a matching recipient.

Details of the funeral to be announced shortly. In lieu of flowers and wreaths, donations for a replacement laptop can be made to The Wordsmythe’s foundation.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

Happy Easter

I was chatting with a non-Christian friend earlier today and he was moaning about having to accompany his family to church.

When I encouraged him to try to see beyond everything else to the message of Easter, he said;

“Organized religion bears subliminal messages of subjugation. They are tools of oppression by men, of women, children and the weak. No one should submit to those teachings…”

I had to agree with him. Except for his spelling of ‘organized’, he’s American, they can’t spell properly! On a more serious note, I had to concede that he was right about organised religion.

Organised religion is an institution to express one’s belief in a higher power. It is an outward and often social articulation of belief in higher powers, often practised in community settings and may include participation in rituals. These are definitions from a couple of dictionaries.

However, I do not subscribe to organised religion. I believe in and have a relationship with God, three in One. I believe The Father made me in His image and likeness and endowed me with all of that He is and represents – love, forgiveness, mercy, kindness etc.

I believe that Jesus, the Son, was crucified not for any wrongdoing on His part but because it was the only way to ensure my salvation. An exchange needed to be made; a life for a life, and He gave His for mine, willingly.

I believe in the Holy Spirit. He is there to comfort, guide and teach me.

Increasingly and unfortunately, Christianity has become a set of rules and regulations, dos and don’ts, rituals and traditions instead of a lifestyle of faith. A lot of Christians are now more concerned with what people can see on the outside as opposed to what is actually on the inside. It has become less about the state of our hearts and more about putting on a good show, less about pleasing God and more about conforming to other people’s expectations.

I’m so thankful that “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7. He is the only One I need to please

It saddens me to agree with my friend but he has a very valid point. Manipulation has become the order of the day in the church; toe the line or fall out of favour.

Jesus does not manipulate. He doesn’t play games or hold his cards close to His chest keeping us guessing about what He wants. He is very clear when He says He loves us unconditionally and accepts us just the way we are. He doesn’t put undue pressure on us to be good. He doesn’t have unrealistic expectations for us. He invites us to come and reason with Him Isaiah 1:18. He offers rest for our weary and burdened souls Matthew 11:29.

He says He loves us with an everlasting love Jeremiah 31:3 and nothing can separate us from that love Romans 8:38 and I believe every word.

It will probably take my friend a whole lot more than this post to be persuaded that true Christianity isn’t organised religion and that’s ok. If someone as erudite and eloquent as Paul was only able to ‘almost’ persuade Agrippa to be a Christian, I have my work cut out for me Acts 26:28 – 29.

However like Paul responded to Agrippa, (and I paraphrase) it is my prayer that whether now or sometime in the future, you too, will become a Christian just as I am.

Happy Easter, everyone.

 

He loves me

Mo Cushla, I know it’s not your birthday nor our anniversary. It isn’t Fathers’ day or Valentine’s either. As a matter of fact, it’s not a special occasion at all. It’s just an ordinary day. Another day in our lives together. However I don’t have to wait for a special day to tell you that you make me feel special and treasured every day.

I can’t say it enough; I love you and I am especially thankful to God for bringing you into my life.

All I want to say to you is captured in Jill Scott’s ‘He loves me’, apart from that weird caterwauling at the end .

Enjoy!

You love me especially different every time
You keep me on my feet happily excited
By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence
You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me
You school me, give me some things to think about
Ignite me, you invite me, you co-write me, you love me, you like me
You incite me to chorus, ooh
Ooh…

You love me especially different every time
You keep me on my feet happily excited
By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence
You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me
You school me, give me things to think about
Invite me, you ignite me, co-write me, you love me, you like me
Incite me to chorus
La, la, la…
Da, da, da…
Do, do, do…

You’re different and special
You’re different and special in every way imaginable
You love me from my hair follicles to my toenails
You got me feeling like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new
Oh when you touch me I just can’t control it
When you touch me, I just can’t hold it
The emotion inside of me, I can feel it