How well do I write?
I see pictures in my mind. I can see events unfolding quite clearly, like a movie. All of my senses are engaged in the goings-on in my mind.
But I can’t articulate them in words. I am unable to transfer the images I see in my mind onto paper. I have extreme difficulty in giving others the opportunity to experience that which I have.
It’s like there’s a breakdown in communication between my brain and my fingers.
My best efforts are like a child’s first drawing, outlines, stick figures et al.
My struggle to bridge this gap takes me on a journey of research. I read other people’s work. I study tips and tricks on writing successfully. I write, or shall I say, attempt to write in the hope that eventually I will make the transition from just writing to creating.
I keep searching for that elusive utopian formula that will catapult me into the limelight but it remains just that, elusive and utopian.
Sometimes I worry that the drive to be successful is more about the fortune and fame I associate with it than the pleasure of fulfilling a passion. I’m not sure that’s necessarily a bad thing but I must be careful to balance things out.
I find it instructive that some people are such good writers that even their rambling thoughts make for great reading. I guess it isn’t really the thoughts that matter as much as how they are conveyed. I am fascinated by the way in which some people are able to write so eloquently. I find myself thinking I could have written similarly but don’t actually succeed in doing so.
I am determined not to let my failure so far to deter me from the goal. I know that persistence will yield results and it is only a matter of time and dedication before the sweet taste of success is mine.
A wise friend of mine once said that we sometimes spend so much time learning to do something that we don’t have time to actually do the thing. I found that funny yet so apt.
It is good to study about writing and how to do it but I must not expend all my energy and time on that to the exclusion of actually writing. Adopting Nike’s tagline, ‘Just do it’, would be a good thing right now.
I sometimes think that because I want my work to be best-selling, I am reluctant to write just anything thereby detracting from the process of the eventual goal. I must rid myself of this mentality and get on with the business of writing. Success may not come from my first attempt but that attempt in itself brings me a step closer to success.
I seem to keep looking to the future but I must start right here, right now. This is the only time I have. Now is the time to crack on; not tomorrow, not next week but right now.
PS This is another one from the archives written on the 21st of August 2007, our 3rd wedding anniversary.