The Wordsmythe's Weblog…

…On Words, Love and Life

Lessons I wish my kids would learn – Life isn’t fair

As I sit here trying to write this post, my boys are fighting over whose turn it is to sit next to mummy. They always argue about who gets to sit next to me on the sofa. Now it would make everyone’s life, especially mine, a lot simpler if I sat in the middle of the three-seater sofa, thereby giving each of them space to sit on either side of me. But I much prefer to sit at the extreme left hence leaving ample room on my right for them to sit but no, they have to be right next to me, skin to skin.

To stop the constant bickering every time we have a sit-down moment, I have developed a turn-taking system. Each child sits next to me for a while, then they swap places. As you may well know, children interpret time completely differently from grown-ups. Everything is now, be it five minutes or five years. So even with our system, there are still arguments over how long the other person has been sitting next to mummy for. Some days I have the patience and presence of mind to ensure they each get an equal amount of time in their favourite sitting position, other days I just want to run and hide, that is when I’m not yelling at them to stop.

In time, they will learn that life isn’t always fair. They will come to find out that things don’t always work out the way we think they should. Even the wise King Solomon was baffled by this truth when he declared in Ecclesiastes 9:11 ‘I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.’

I just wish they would learn it sooner rather than later. Until then, I live in hope.

What lessons do you wish (your) children would learn?

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12 thoughts on “Lessons I wish my kids would learn – Life isn’t fair

  1. LOL. Reads like the antics my kids get up to. I wished they would learn to squabble less. I keep telling my daughter to stop fighting her brother on everything. ‘One day he’s going to grow up and be bigger than you and you’re going to need him to protect you. Be nice to him now.’ 🙂

  2. That is my one of my favourite sayings in the Bible! In fact it’s on my BB profile and every time I go to change it to something else, I’m struck by the truth of it! It is coincidentally the lesson I would like my son to learn as well. He wonders why his Dad ‘doesn’t love him’, why his life seems to be that much more difficult than others and why he can’t always have what he thinks he deserves, I tell him he has all the most important things in life, God, country and the love of a good woman and they are all proverbially free! I tell him something else wise King Solomon said about life: Vanity of vanities all is vanity……:D

  3. LOL. I go through the same problem at home. With three kids, sometimes I feel like I should just cut up my body in three different parts – equally, and give to them to hold. One would think that as they grow older, the squabbles over who sits next to mom would get better, Unfortunately, even the little baby (age 1) has joined them too. But you are right about life unfairness. It’s not only a lesson for children to learn, but even adults. We deal with God the same way that children deal with adults, whining about stuff that we think is owed to us, when really we ought to understand that ‘we are’ just because of his grace; and that in everything we are dealt with in life, to have a grateful heart.. This is a much beautiful post Nkem and thanks for sharing it.

    • Thanks, Lara. You are so right about us dealing with God in the same way. We, adults, also have many lessons to learn one of which is that ‘godliness with contentment is great gain’ 1 Timothy 6:6.

  4. In recent times, I find that as the squabbles get more intense, I just run out of the room shouting incoherently. And then they both stop arguing, look at me and say quietly ‘Mummy, remember, Use your words!’
    A temporary diversion, but, it got them to stop squabbling – for the moment, at least!

    There are loads of things I want my children to learn and one of them is Tolerance – of one another, of others in general.

  5. CityDiva on said:

    Oh so very very true, life is unfair. Kids will get to learn this. They have no choice really. Part and parcel of being on this earth, and being alive. Happens daily. There is no formula or remedy for it. Life is just oh so very unfair. I look at my life and wonder? I used to think I deserve and its my right and I have earned this that or the other, but alas 😦 😦 It made me a very angry person at what I perceived as the unfairness of it all.
    Look at what is going on in the world ???
    But thank God, though life is unfair, God is fair

  6. I don’t have kids, but I’m guessing I’d feel the opposite – I’d want to shield them from the unfairness of the world for as long as possible 🙂 Great post. Your kids sound adorable.


  7. Nice post. I don’t have any kids at the moment. But when I do, i wish they could learn that (1) money making is not easy and (2) that sex before marriage is one of the most dangerous activities a human can indulge in.

  8. Nice advise. It’s good to know that not only my sons behave that way

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