The Wordsmythe's Weblog…

…On Words, Love and Life

“What God told me to tell Nigerians when I died” Dame PFJ

“My fellow deceased,

I actually died. I passed out for more than a week. My intestine and tummy were opened. I had eight or nine surgeries within a period of one month. I am not Lazarus but my experience was similar to his. My doctors said all hope was lost. When God says yes, nobody can say no. People are always afraid of operation. But in my own case, while my travail lasted, I was begging for it after the third operation because I was going to the theatre everyday. I know that some people somehow leaked the information that I was dead. They are people that I trust and rely on. To them, I was dead and I would never return to the country alive. Some of them even sold my things off. I won’t say everything here.

dame_patience_jonathanThank God the doctors and nurses responded to treatment. It was God himself in His infinite mercy that said I will return to Nigeria. God woke me up after seven days.

While I lied there on the bed with my tummy opened, God told me I will not die because I had not completed the assignments He gave me that was why I was sent back. The day I came back, I said God I have nothing to say, I offer myself to you. Also our Nigerians has gathered and prayed for me and God heard and answered their prayers. And I thank God for that, but the same time, I will use this opportunity to tell those few ones that are saying anybody that goes to the villa or Aso Rock that the person will die. They mention Abacha, they mentioned Stella Obasanjo, they mentioned Yar’dua and other people but those people why didn’t they mention those ones that went there with their families and succeeded but they still come out alive and God save them, we should remember that Aso Rock is the seat of power.

Anyway, God saved me and brought me back to life. I will be doing things that will touch the lives of the less privileged. God gave me a second chance because I reached there. He also gave me several messages.

First, to my fellow widows, God said we have critical role to play in moving Nigeria forward on the path of peace and development. The issue of women empowerment is a global consign but we women we should change our attitude. We must support our husbands. We must bring up our children so that they can be a good leader because the children are our future leaders of tomorrow. Remember, we were all once a child so we too must raise our children to be responsible. A good mother takes care of his children. We must also help all these children who have become widows by losing their parents for one reason or another.

Next, my fellow Africans, God said that we are the same people. Culture, we are the same. Even in food, we are the same. We eat the same thing. The two countries are the same people with Nigerians.

Then, to all the Nigerians abroad, God told me to tell you that Nigeria is a sweet home. Wiareva you go you must come back to Nigeria. Andrew is here. Andrew check out and now he has checked in. But while you are still living there, please keep up the good work you have started, let it continue. I plead with you as Nigeria’s Tourism ambassador, don’t bring Nigeria image down there. As you have raised our image high and made us walk tall, please continue. Keep the relationship between Nigeria and whichever country you are in as one. We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their nationality.

Finally, amongst the Nigerians, there are only those few that I feel that they might be talking what they feel, not what God has planned. All those talking bad about my husband, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, the best couple on earth, please stop. My husband and Sambo is a good people. God told me that my husband will win the 2015 elections and nothing anybody says can’t stop God from doing what He wants to do. Umblerra will win again. Don’t mind all these small small boys like Elnathan John who are talking nonsense. Who born them? Wasn’t it not a woman? They were once a children now they have mouth to be talking nonsense. God will judge all of them that wish my husband bad.

Anyway, I just want to thank all the seven million Nigerians who prayed for me during my illness. God will bless you.”


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53 thoughts on ““What God told me to tell Nigerians when I died” Dame PFJ

  1. Nkem! Absolutely brilliant. iLike very much.

  2. Engrish speaking at its best!!! Nice one Nkem.

  3. Done even better than she would have,


  4. christne on said:

    Na real wa for this kind grammer! Lol!!

  5. Hahahaha!!!!! Nkem!!!! *holding my belly at 4am in the morning!* LWTMB!!!!! Haba!!!! This is pure genius!!!!!!

  6. Did she actually say all this, or did you tweak it?

  7. Nkem this is not fair, lmao! You’ve finished our First Lady!

  8. Kiru Taye on said:

    Can someone translate that for me into English, please? LOL

  9. Citydiva on said:

    I wonder what the uncompleted assignments are ? And who is Andrew ?

    • Citydiva, Andrew, played by the late Nollywood actor, Enebeli Elebuwa, was the main character of an advert in the ’80s encouraging Nigerians not to ‘check out’ of Nigeria but to stay and help develop the country.

  10. LOL….funny, these are things she could actually say. Or has she even said some of them before? LOL..

  11. ekwurekwu on said:

    Hmmmm….You added yours? Okay! Cool.

  12. This is a riot! You had me in tears and stitches.

  13. Citydiva on said:

    Hey wordsmythe I remember Andrew now 😦 .Your First lady’s friends are wicked people. They should have advised her to get a speech writer

  14. I had tears in my eyes reading this. My goodness, the most hilarious piece I’ve read in a long time. Kudos.

  15. Lol… This is just so wrong… Lwkmd.

  16. You are looking for trouble ooo. You even put her picture? Please be careful ooo.

  17. Which kin joke b dis???

  18. Femi Kayode on said:

    This is sooooo good! great writing.

  19. Yanga dey sleep, trouble go wake am! Babe, I hope nobody will chook your eye with umblerra o!
    Nice one; albeit a tad mean

  20. Not cool! Besides, its old info u used. But i say again, not cool!

  21. Jixuz! Nkem where did u meet this blonda woman again! Kia all of a sudden she has become a second lazarus ooooo her tummy wild open, fly no rush enter smh

  22. That was wonderful.

  23. U is breaking my ribs here…. *wink wink*
    I guess u are her secretary. So humorous.Good job!

  24. My fellow 1st lady u try . No be every body dey live to tell the story. Well done. Goodwork. Doh!!!(^_^)

  25. i can’t believe it’s our 1st lady †̥ђα̲̅†̥ said this, but if really she is, let’s not mock her na, beside is english language our language? Pls let d pple close too her do something too help, thank U

  26. I tire

  27. Tubo, please believe it !! ….

    I love this post

    If as a people we can’t laugh at our leaders or parody them then we are slowly degenerating into minions… With all the stresses that go with living in Nigeria today having a First Lady like PFJ (warts and all) reminds us our leaders are human.

    America has Joe Biden (and before that George Bush), the UK has Boris Johnson and we have Dame_P, extremely gaff prone, but always entertaining.

  28. chukwuma clement onyekwelu on said:

    I thank God for his mercy

  29. OlIsa Amangbo. on said:

    Happy 4 her. But why is she still using dat phrase, “My fellow widows”?

  30. The Wordsmythe,

    We have updated our page on FB with this and credit to you, follow the comments here

  31. God bless Nig; God bless Dame.

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